=March 15, 2008=

there...anything school-related activitity is done.no more lessons.no more book.no more tests...

the schoolyear's about to end and I know it's such a cliche but I am feeling both happy and sad about this...

anyway...

since my last post was a pre-prom post...I'll be posting about the JS prom...

venue was nice...better than last year's but the dancing space was limited.

program wasn't as organize as last year's but it was fine I guess.

food was okay but service was another thing...

dancing?...no questions asked, definitely the teachers had more fun than us...I mean, they could have started playing sweet songs at once, since we only started the dancing at 10,but they didn't...they played...WEIRD songs...

the dancing part was fun though. I danced with the peole that mean so much to  me...(minus the last dance). I couldn't say it was as good as last year/ But it was indeed VERY memorable...

no need to elaborate. all of the details are in my diary.

March 10...we had our recollection...

sabi ko "hindi ako iiyak...masyado pang maaga para sa mga paalam"

but then there it was, the moment the speaker talked about the "inspirational" story about the kid he once handled...ayun...tumulo na ng tuloy2 yung luha ko...lalao na nung may sinabi siya about diabetic people...

then we were given 4 pieces of colored papaer. Yellow for reconciliation, green for encouragement, blue for thanksgiving, and red for a person close to your heart. we were asked to write a message to the people whom we chose for each letter.

I gave the yellow one to Angeline. I know were fine and relly good,but I just can't help but to say sorry. I was really stupid to let a very STUPID thing come between our friendship. I asked sorry and she hugged me at that instant.

I gave the green to Lovely. I know she needed it a lot and I hope I helped her with the message...remember Lovely: "MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA AT MAMAHALIN KITA MAGPAKAILANMAN"...tama ba?...basta something like that...

I gave the blue one to Eka...Seriously VERY thankful ako at dumating siya sa buhay ko. At times, siya lang kasi ang nakakaintindi sa akin. She gave me all the reasons to love myself and to appreciate the people around me.

I gave the red one to Maricar. No questions asked. Sa kanya ko talaga dapat ibigay yun. Pero I don't know. Parang lumalayo na naman siya sa akin...

Eto naman yung mga natanggap ko:

Yellow: Valenz and Lovely

Blue: Maiko, Mikaela, Jennpril, Mark

Red: Maricar, Mark, Mikaela

honestly I never realized that I meant so much to these people. I never realized na sa kahit anong taray, moody at short-tempered ko, I touched their lives greatly and they appreciated me for that.

After the giving of letters, they had us form a circle with our classmates.seriously, may mga divisions sa klase pero the moment we were holding hands, it was as if nothing was separating us. it was as if we were one big family...and I hope it'll always be this way...

then the speakers gave us the time to hug and talk to all the people that meant special to us. I hugged all the people who held a special place in my heart. Grabe, ang dami ko palang pinahalagahan na tao ngayong high school. akal ko wala masyado kasi feeling ko attched pa rin ako sa mga elementary friends ko,but I guess narerealize mo lang talaga ang importance ng tao kapag malapit nang mawala sa iyo...

Monday to Wednesday...grad practices nalang...

Seniors, I am going to miss you guys. I know na most of you don't know me personally dahil hindi ako yung tipo ng tao na mag aaproach agad sa iyo kapag nakita kita. Pero I just want you to know that ALL of you hold a special place in my heart...ALL..kahit yung mga taong nakasakit sa akin...

Just a few more days...just a little more  time...let's cherish every moment

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

=♥nich♥=

=January 5,2008=

I am so0o0o0o0o0o0o damn happy...I passed DLSU...hehe...at least I am assured that I won't be an out-of-school-youth...

As of now, of the entance college exams I took, I already paased DLSU and FEU...APC was given free in our school...I am still waiting for the results in UP...

...I am sort of pissed at my kuya...the conversation went like this:

me:ma,nakapasa ako sa la salle...sa first choice ko...

him:ano ba first choice mo?

me:psych...{with matching big smile...}sa lahat naman ng inapplyan ko,un ung kinuha ko eh...

him:ah,psych lang pala eh...pag sa UP,sure pass ka na din dahil sa course mo...

...di ba?nakakapanghina ng loob...nakakairita pa...kala mo kung sinong magaling...damn...it's my PASSION tapos sasabihin niya ung ganun...

I am sooo excited na mag college...at least, I know I'll be able to go to college somewhere...

so,eto ang order of preference ko sa college:

1.UP

2-3.still choosing between UST and DLSU

4.FEU

5.SSC

...okay, so it's beeen a month since I last posted...but first...

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!

=December 25,2007=

ok, since I last posted, many things have been going on...sad and happy...I could tell you, It's really been a rollercoaster ride for me...

so, I'll just summarize the lessons I learned during my "unofficial" abscence...

In the past month I had realized that:

*friendship still finds its way to true friends' heart when it is relly meant to be. So I recociled with Ate Angeline already. We had a misunderstanding about a very shallow and I could say stupid thing......Now I feel more blessed that I have her with me...

*family means nobody gets left behind. We got our lola with us again. She spent the Cristmas with us and I hope she could spend my birthday with us.I love her very much...

*you can be classmates and family at the same time. I had a blast during our christmas party. Even if I was still the withdrawn and quiet me at school, I enjoyed watching them as they played the games we had at the party. I love fermi very much...

*my classmates find me friendly. Maybe I didn't receive as much gifts as I gave, but what surprised me was that the least people I expected to give me gifts,gave me gifts.

*christmas still has its place in people's hearts. I realized this last night when I served during the concelebrated mass. Many people attended the mass and I could tell that I reall y felt the spirit of christmas...

......A bigh thumbs up to my co-servers and my friends who were casted in the "panunuluyan' last night. I was really surprised by the way they acted. I never expected them to be so good. I had fun watching you guys...

so now, I am slowly gaining popularity in church. Everyone--well, almost everyone in the youth ministry-- know me already.I know why.And I could not complain,in fact the reason is very flattering. I am getting the hang of this feeling...

'till next post...

have a wonderful Christmas!

=♥cheale♥=

As I took the long walk home, the cold wind of month slowly surrounded me. It was such a lovely evening, I could say. The stars were shining bright and there were no clouds in sight. The lake was very peaceful. And the wind seemed to whisper only into one's ears. It was such a perfect evening.

Suddenly, a strong gust of wind came. This caused some twigs to go along with it and hit my cheek and scratch it. The wound I got caused my eyes to well up in tears. I tried to stop myself from crying but as I saw the blood from the cut, I could not hold back the tears anymore. Slowly, tears began trickling down my eyes.

I wanted to ask for treatment for the wound to avoid infection. I saw a drugstore nearby. I knew I had extra money left that I could afford to buy immediate treatment to my wound. But somehow, something was stopping me. Maybe I didn't want the people to take pity on me. So, I just took my handkerchief and placed it above my cheeks as if I was just covering something on it. 

I reached the station and after a few moments, the train arrived. I was somehow relieved that a few moments from now, I would be able to reach home. The only place where I could seek comfort and where I could treat my wound. But still, my thoughts kept bothering me. I still couldn't resist thinking of the blood stains in my handkerchief. I still can't shrug the idea off my mind that my wound was hurting. My mind kept on telling me that I was hurt...badly.

I reached home and somehow I got the treatment for my wound. I put some alcohol that caused even more hurt. After that I placed an ointment for it to heal faster. I used up many cotton balls because the wound didn't immediately stopped from bleeding. I also shed a lot of tears. Then, I placed a band-aid above the wound. "A band-aid would be of big help to me now.” I kept repeating the words to myself, " This would be able to hide what had truly happened to me...Nobody but me shall know all about it." Of course, I wouldn't want anybody asking me how it had happened.

A lot of time has passed and I know that the wound had somehow reduced in size, as if it wasn't there. But until this very moment, I am still hurting and crying from the pain that the wind has caused me. I guess it will take a very long time for me to be able to forget the hurt.

I couldn't blame anyone for what happened. I know that the wind didn't mean to hurt me. I knew from the start that it never knew I was there. It may even have no idea that the twigs may come along as it blows. It never knew that I existed. It never knew that someone may get hurt. But I really do not know why I am hurting this much.

All I could blame is myself. I enjoyed the scenery so much that I didn't care to be cautious and aware of what was happening around me. I put myself too much on cloud nine and did not even bother to go back down on the realities of the earth.

***ok, so this didn't really happen to me. No, you won't be seeing me with a band aid in my face on Monday morning. There won't be any wound or scar. Well, there won't be anywhere physically. I just wanted to pour my heart's out and let go off some more tears. And for those wondering what had really happened, maybe I'll just tell you guys personally and for those who know what happened I wish that it'll be just between us guys. It is better not to post all about it in the web. I may be able to hurt some people. All I am saying is that I shouldn't have thought that everything I was wishing for was going the way I wanted it to. I should have thought of the other possibilities and obstacles that may hinder me from reaching that certain place. I need help and advice. How would I be able to heal this "wound"?***

The blood may have stopped from dripping down the wound, but still the scar reminds me that once in my life I got this painful wound. The scar will be there forever. Likewise, the wind also would always be there... 

=♥cheale♥=

=October 30, 2007=

*sigh*

A few days from now, it'll be back to school for me...still have a lot of things to do...*another big sigh*...

Yesterday was the SK elections. I was excited to vote since I knew the people who were running for the postions...-I should have been one of them-...anyway, The system was very disorganized. We got lost looking for our precints and my mom and dad weren't able to vote...they could not find their names...I stiil have the indelible ink in my fingernails...As of yesterday, my bet for the SK chairman wasn't winning yet, my friend who is running for kagawad was having a landslide victory....But still, many things can happen...Good luck guys...

Later at 4, I'll be attending the meeting with the bishop. I will definitely ask him why he doesn't like girls serving him during the high mass... It's just really unfair...after that, we'll be having the culminating activity for the month of the holy rosary...On Saturday I'll be attending a youth jamboree to be held in our church...

Too many things to do...very little time...

I wish I could slow down time....

*sigh*

I am very happy with my life now...I have always been...

for someone:"You are better off with someone else. Thank you for everything..."

'till next post...

♥=cheale=♥

another late post...

=October 27,2007=

so what have I been up to...lot of school work and catching up with friends...I have another gimik later in the afternoon...

nothing much exciting happening to me...

SK election's coming up...I don't know who to vote yet...except for the two people I personally know...anyway...

Church schedule has been very hectic for me...lot of stuff going on...culminating activity for the month of the rosary on Tuesday night...youth jamboree next Saturday...almost-everyday church service...

School work....lot to do....special project in organic chem<because I am failing it again.>...practicum/project in journalism...*sigh*...

Yesterday I went to my elementary school...I went there to visit my friends, but I have been surprised to get more than my friends' hi's and hello's....Everyone who knew me said hi and kept on shouting "NEE-ANNE!!!!" as if they really meant it...it made me wanna cry but then I did not want to...Everybody kept on hugging me and asking how I was. They also said that they missed me a lot...

Funny thing, the least people that I expected to miss me made me felt loved and welcomed... Honestly, I never thought that these three friends of mine remembered me. Because we only got to spend one schoolyear together and then it seemed that we didn'e know each other....When I saw them, the two girls hugged me tight and asked how I was doing...I felt so special and welcomed...The guy then came in the other direction and even managed to tease me...oh, how I much I missed them...

I saw a ♥special person♥ yesterday...*blush*... ...Honestly, of all the guys I got attracted to while in elementary, he has the greatest effect until know...I stiil can't manage to talk to him...I dunno why...*sigh*...I hate myself for not being able to talk to him...I think he saw me...because when I turned to look back, he was smiling...I knew I should have approached him and told him how much I missed him...

Christmas...I would...I promise to myself...

this made me realize that I am still very much attached to my elementary friends...this made me decide that I'll be spending the Christmas with them...may JS at grad ball pa naman para sa mga friends ko sa maksci eh...

Thank you guys for making me feel special and welcomed...I miss you so0o0o0o0o0o0o much...promise, I'll be spending Christmas with you guys...

=♥nich♥=

=September 27,2007, thursday=

I am supposed to be enjoying intrams...but I am here again at the library...stuck at the stupid library...

katabi ko ngayon si lavinia.baliw na kami pareho...this girl's really funny. akala mo super tahimik or super taray or super seryoso,pero first impressions aren't really right...she's actually the exact opposite.she's super noisy, super kulit and super funny...right now,she's actiually watching something on the net...she finds it amusing...

ok, back to my reality...

the intramurals is on going...we beat the sophomores in basketball and volleyball boys. but they beat us in volleyball girls. But what the heck, it's just a matter of a few points...

right now, I should be typing the questions for our contest...

last tuesday was the worst day for me...actually it's for him, not me....he got really pissed off during the game that he wasn't able to play well. He also got sort of injured because of an undefinite reason. I really don't know if it was because of a bad fall or leg cramps. I know I should be happy becauise our batch won,but hey, have I got no right to worry about him or get affected by how he is? have I got no right to be concerned with the people I carew for the most?.with the people I treasure?... 

ok, something's really wrong with me. I easily get affected once I here things about him. I shouldn't be this way. There isn't anything between us after all. In fact, he doesn't even know me personally...(that's according to him, but I bet he does.)I really shouldn't bother. I really shouldn't care. He is just someone I admire. I admire him only because of his fab skills in basketball and nothing more. Or maybe because of his expressive eyes and playful smile...I am really freaking out...

ok so now, Lavinia left me to watch the volleyball games.It's freezing cold here but I really don't mind. I have to really focus in winning the contest. I have to crack my heads off in this contest.

ok, so please pray for us. we really have to win. A legacy is what we can only leave in this school.

*I am getting too emotional*

'til next post.

=nich=

...

bored. still at school. supposed to be reviewing for the techno quiz. head aches. sleepy. feeling weird. happy.

see, I am a weird person. I really cannot tell what the heck am I feeling or what I want to do. As of now...I want to sleep but I cannot manage to close my eyes. I want to go home but I do not want to.

I am a real weirdo. At times, I cannot really tell who I am or what my plans for the day is.

It's already 4:38 but I still don't know what or where this post is going to.

<-backspace. erase. undo->

just really can't think of anything to say. Just really wanted to drop a post.

<-enter->

well that's about it.

till next post....

Let's see how much time I heve left for me...technically, it's less than 48 hours and yet...I have failed to accomplish even a bit...

As I said...we have our contest on the 28th...a music project to be passed on the first week of October...a dance project in PE,(anybody who knows how to dance the cha-cha?)...a music play to be done on thefirst week of December...an interview for health to be passed on Monday...upocoming long test and graded recitation in Math...daily homeworks in Filipino...a movie in English...a book report in Filipino(I haven't opened the book yet...)...weekly reports in Physics...weekend service in church...other responsibilities in church...household chores...

I am so busy...*sigh*

see...I have so much to do...yet I have so little time...*sigh*...I really don't  know what to do...

Despite all these stuff...and hectic schedule...I never regretted my choice of transferring here...because I heve met the most wonderful people here...here are a few of the best people in the world...(in the order of how I met them)

• my first-year barkada...I have already posted an entry about them,no need to elaborate...I love them
• my blue-eyes white dragon...we started as somehow enemies...because of me...ako ung unang nang-away...pero ngayon,parang walang nangyari...kinalimutan na namin ang lahat lahat ng mga pinagawayan namin...we are now inseperable,kahit minsan na lang kami magkausap ng masinsinan...
• two of "charlie's angels"...we were the noisiest threesome back in second year...I never really imagined nor nevr it hass passed my mind that we'll be this close...today, we hardly talk but I know that they always have my back...I know they do...
• my "textmate"....bakit ganun ang tawag ko?....kasi we started to be close sa text marathons...alam mo un...nung uso pa at bago ang unli sa smart...yun,kami laging magkatext...miss ko na nga itng babaeng to eh...even if I tease her a lot,she's always there for me...I can always come to her and tell her anything...sometimes nga,siya lang ang nakakaalam ng mga bagay-bagay eh....
• si siroun...alam niya kung sino siya...hehe....LOVE ko itong babaeng to...hindi marunong magalit at laging nakasmile...pareho kami...nakasmile kahit madaming problema...
• si aso't pusa...one has been my friend since late part of second year...the other since third year...ewan ko ba sa dalawang ito,laging nagaaway kahit lagi naman kaming magkakasama...pero I enjoy their company...lagi silang nandyan para i-cheer up ako...
• my "cousin"...she is one of the few teachers I will never forget...cousin?....nope...our surnames are just connected(am I sung the right word?)...hehe,she is the one who said that...I really don't know why,but she has a big effect on me...until now,I still long for her lectures...she has put so much confidence in me and she really made me believe in myself...
• my "idol and second mother"...she has developed a lot in me...acting and speaking skills...even if she is now gone,she is still one of the reasons why I go to school...she tught me how to lover school...
• the fearless...hehe,honestly...hindi ko akalain na magiging malaki ang influence sa akin ng teacher ko na ito...he taught me how to loosen up in school at wag maging masyadong seryoso sa school at ienjoy lang ang buhay...saka,he inspired me to work hard in reaching my goals...basta idol ko itong teacher na ito...and for those who know him,alam niyo na siguro kung bakit...

===================================================================================================

part one lang ito...marami pang mga tao ang reason kung bakit gusto kong pumapasok sa school....I'll tell more of them in a next post...

g2g na eh...I have to start my project in music...

ngayon ko lang napansin na tuwing magpopst ako eh delayed ng one day...kaya ngayon ilalagay ko nalang lagi ang date...

SEPTEMBER 2, 2007

thank God hindi ako pinaalis nila mama sa pagseserve. She just told me to do better especially in organic chemistry. Tuwang-tuwa ako...

As usual,I served during the anticipated mass in our church. When I arrived,my cellphone was full of text messages.I saw I message from him...tuwa ako....hehe

I slept late...1:30...tpos I woke up at around 6:30...

just had the best yesterday...

=nich=

P.s. I just noticed that I post twice a week already.This means I'm improving.Yehey me!...